My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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