So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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