Everything about him screamed your future.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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