i just wanna soil my oats bro
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize