i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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