lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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