the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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