i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize