You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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