I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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