Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize