somebody snuck up and got me drunk
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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