The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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