You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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