For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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