i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize