Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize