3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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