I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize