i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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