shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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