Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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