Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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