I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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