I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize