I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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