also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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