i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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