Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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