he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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