he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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