it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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