So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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