I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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