Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize