If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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