Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize