giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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