Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize