I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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