Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize