at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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