If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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