): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Green mimosas i think yes
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I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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