Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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