now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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