Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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