are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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