It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize