my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your penis caused this!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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